One day when Benjamin West was a young boy his mother left him at home to watch his sister Sally while she went to the store. Looking for something to occupy their time he came across a set of paints, brushes and paper and decided to paint Sally’s portrait.

Having never painted before, you can imagine the mess he made getting paint on everything around him as well as the canvas.

Upon her return his mother walked through the door and immediately saw that paint was everywhere. She also noticed the painting. She walked over, picked up the paper and said, “It’s Sally.” She then bent down and kissed her son on the forehead.

Benjamin said, “My mother’s kiss made me a painter.” He became not just a painter but a world renowned painter. He painted portraits of many leaders from America and Europe and helped found the Royal Academy in England but was best known for his historical and biblical representations.

As I heard this story this week another story came to mind. It was of a college football player.

One game, with his father in the stands, he made one big play after another. At the end of the game everyone was chanting his name and he was given the MVP award.

As they walked out of the stadium that evening, instead of congratulating him or commenting on all his great plays, his father said to him, “You remember that punt return in the third quarter. You missed a tackle that would have given your team more yards.” The boy lowered his head and said nothing the rest of the way home.

These two stories stand in stark contrast but both illustrate the power and importance of our words.

My words, your words, have an impact on those who hear them. They can either bring life to that person or put darkness in their soul. They can build up, encourage, and inspire or they can deflate and dishearten.

Watching my words is an area of my life I have to guard closely. James tells us this is a malady for most of us. He wrote, “For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well.” (3:2)

Often we don’t intend to speak negatively. But the burden is on me for what I say. If my words are discouraging to a person I need to be more cautious of what I say rather than telling them to toughen up and not be so sensitive.

The Scripture is full of passages encouraging us to watch what we say.

David in Psalm 19:14 challenges us by saying, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.”

Paul echoes that in the New Testament when he wrote, “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29)

In my early adult years I wasn’t as conscious of my words and their impact and often unintentionally wounded people. To help with this I printed a couple of verses from Proverbs and attached them to the side of my monitor so I would be reminded regularly to guard my words.

Verses like:
“When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, But he who restrains his lips is wise.” [Proverbs 10:19]

“The one who guards his mouth preserves his life; The one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.” [Proverbs 13:3]

“Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; When he closes his lips, he is counted prudent.” [Proverbs 17:28]

I especially like the last one.

How are you doing with your words? Are you careful, earnestly seeking to use them to build people up? Or are you careless, allowing them to wound without much thought or care? Do you even consider how what you say impacts those around you?

Maybe we can take David’s prayer for his words in Psalm 141:3 as our own, “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.”

May we consciously use our words to give life and encouragement to those we speak.
Mark